THROUGH THE WIRE....

Imagine your having the best weekend ever. You’re enjoying the warm California sun, hanging with your friends. Nothing could be better, your 3000 miles away from home and not a care in the world. Everyone back home is suffering through a blizzard, two and a half feet of snow, 27 degrees, and 17 degrees with the wind. What could ruin this weekend? What could ruin the next six weeks of your life? Opening your mouth at the wrong time…
West coast people don’t take to kindly to the east coast accents. They tend to interpret you the wrong way. They might think your being sarcastic when your not, they might think your being a “tough guy” even. When in actuality you’re just being you. Unfortunately I “caught” the brunt of it, when I was mistaken for a reason to relieve a stranger of their built up anger one night. Catching one in the jaw, I was sent back to Jersey with a new reason to change my diet to a liquid one. I’m not quite sure anyone could imagine breaking their jaw. The thought of it could pass your mine, but the whole reality of it could never be matched.
Think about you favorite dish, the smell of it just lingering towards you. The combined site and aroma sitting right in front of you. You want it don’t you? You want to dig right on in? All you have to do is pick up the fork and knife. Cut a piece and put it in your mouth. Chew and swallow the deliciousness and then repeat…Sounds pretty easy huh? Now just think of how it would be if someone was standing over you telling you that you can’t eat it. You would probably be able to do it right? Sure, no problem… Now picture no one’s around, its all yours…. Only you still can’t have it!!! You can cut it, smell it, look at it, you can pick it up. You can even put it to your lips, but that’s it!!! You can’t taste it because your tongue is locked inside your mouth behind your teeth. You can’t open your teeth because their locked and you don’t have the key. Matter of fact no one does, except this one guy. Someone you don’t even know, you can’t smooth talk him, you can’t bribe him, you can’t even get any sympathy out of him. He has the key and he just told you to fuck off… “Don’t come back for 6 weeks!” Now what do you do? You bye a shit load of straws and one hell of a blender. Then you let your imagination run wild. You always hear about that guy who can’t mix his corn with his potatoes. Or the other one who can’t have the meat touch the veggies. What’s the big fucking deal you might say, right? It’s all going to the same place. You know what the beauty is? They have the fucking choice… That’s what!!About five weeks to go here, and I’m ready to kill myself. There has to be some other way to nourish oneself other than shakes and blended foods. Where are the “6 course meal” pills like in Willy Wonka, or in The Jetsons? What kind of world are we living in that we have no solution to this problem. How we can think of this shit 20-30 yrs ago for a fucking cartoon and some fucking movie? We can think of edible underwear, and flavored condoms, but no pill that will fill you up, huh? No “steak shake”? Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m just venting, but I worn you there is no sympathy out there for us broken jawed people…. Eat up fuckers enjoy it now cause eventually your going to know what its like not to be able to eat what you want. Ok, so it might not be until your all like 90 and you keep losing your dentures… but you’ll get yours…